Expiration date of a BFF


If there is a term that I feel is over used / abused more than the words “I love you” It HAS to be BFF.  How many of you know someone who’s BFF changes every month?  How many of you have had a BFF and then lost and replaced them?  What causes us to terminate the relationship? What causes us to replace them, and what are the rules?

So in my life, I truly have only titled 2 friends my BFF.  One of these friends I started hanging out with 12 years ago.  She was my ride or die.  She has more dirt to bury me than anyone else, we have held each other’s secrets, we  have held each other as we have experienced many things together over the years. We have experienced heart ache, run ins with the law (LOL), had terrible arguments, made amazing memories and participated in many other shenanigans.  Then I introduced my BFF to another good friend, and the rest is history.

They have been together for 11 years now, and she did say she was getting weary of the relationship a few years ago… but then I got the phone call last spring … they were engaged.  woohoo!  I even asked that day will I be in the wedding??? She replied that of course I would be. I visited my BFF last year when I was out on injury from work.  We had unsuccessfully managed to secure a day to meet at her parents camp in Maine which was an annual thing for us. My husband told me it seemed like it was intentional on her end…so when I was there, I asked her when she was getting married, and come to find out plans were in action for a wedding in Florida!  I promised her I would NOT miss it.  Then I waited…..waited for the call that I needed to look at a dress, or pick out a flower…it did not come.

I never got the request to be in the wedding. Honestly, I know there are a lot of females in her family and had cast the wedding party in my head, and I was spot on.  So we flew to FL and at the moment the bridal party was lining up, I saw some girl I had never met before in the wedding party.  Weird I thought who is this relative I have not met?  She isn’t a relative.  She is her new BFF for like ONE YEAR.  I would love to end this post by saying I was very non-chalant and didn’t give a fuck.  But I did, I still do and it has been two weeks.

My best friend’s wedding was the first one in my 44 years of attending weddings, that I did not cry at.  Her wedding was the first one I attended that broke my heart.  The first wedding with an open bar that I didn’t partake in, the first wedding that I left early and didn’t dance at.  What a shame it was, because it was beautiful.  All I could see is the new BFF and her laughing it up like we used to.  My husband was so irate about it (my feelings being hurt) that he had a hard time holding his tongue, as he felt I had been left out also.

Looking back, I think maybe she was a better friend to me than I was to her, but life happens, I did the best I could.  There have been a lot of changes in my life recently, one of them being I rarely drink.  I wonder if that is what has changed this relationship.  That and distance.  We used to love to kill a 12 pack, but I can barely stay awake through two now.  Over the last few years I have cut ties with some truly toxic people.  Now it seems someone cut their ties with me, and it was the one person I thought would always be around, and she didn’t tell me she was doing it.  Soon, there will be no one left in the state of Massachusetts that I even want to see…oh wait….


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