Thanksgiving in Jail
This is the first year that I am working inside a correctional facility on a major holiday. I had wondered if it would be super depressing, and it really isn’t. The women were thankful for their nice meal at lunch and casual dinner. They have been playing a game for most of the night and everyone is getting along, except for one..but that is always how it goes, there always has to be ONE.
This year I feel older, smarter, better. At least I keep telling myself that is how I feel. My circle has gotten smaller since I took this job. My worries are different now. My career seems to be taking off, and I am excited about it, and honestly wish I would have had the opportunity to do this years ago, so that I would have some money put away for retirement by now! 43 and still wondering if I will actually be 70? when I retire? Hopefully I live that long! The job is stressful, and tries my patience and heart. There have been a few crying the whole way home evenings, as well as some driving home in perfect silence evenings. There have been a few evenings that I am headed home thinking it was an easy paycheck.
My home life has taken a giant shift. The kids are older now, one is off at college, one is finishing high school. We are moving in to a different house with a nice fenced yard for the dogs and two bathrooms and a dish washer for me. God knows I am sick of washing dishes. Hubby and I have a preview of the empty nest syndrome, but both of us working as COs has its benefits and its negatives as well. Some days we don’t speak when we get home for awhile, trying to process the things that we see and hear. Some days I can’t stop thinking about the things I have seen and heard. Moral of the story? I know you want me to get to the point.
My point is this, I have said and written it before but I really want to nail it home. In all of the chaos, do NOT lose yourself. Do not lose who you are, who you want to be, and don’t forget who you were. On this day I am proud to say that I am incredibly thankful for what I have been given, as well as what I have accomplished and worked for. The good, the bad and the ugly. I hope that in this career I will be able to help people, to touch one person and know that I made a difference. That is who I am and the nonsense I am surrounded by while not take it away. Do not lose the love in your heart or the joy that you may be too afraid to share. Remember that you are a person with needs and desires and that you deserve to fulfill them! If you are not hurting anyone then keep doing it. Keep that quirky sense of humor, the laughs and smiles ! Share them with anyone who wants one. And if you are in a place in your life where your close friends and family seem far away (emotionally or physically) then reach out and tell them you love them. The real friends are busy too and understand and love you for it. The fake ones will bitch and moan or disappear. Happy Thanksgiving to all, I hope everyone had a great day ❤